Creative Confidence

Episode Transcript:

And I think I betrayed myself by listening to what people want from me rather than what I really want. And it pushed this feelings like art art will not give me a real life. It's not a real, I mean, you can know it as well. Say it's global. I mean, it's not going to give you enough money. It's not going to.

[00:00:21] Ilay: Give you a proper life, blah, blah, blah, this and that. And I was so lost in these sentences that coming from people, I was like, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they are right. So I should follow their path. And I did for a very long time. I studied economics and economics is not just a department. You can just get into a study.

[00:00:43] Ilay: It's really hard. And I was good at it. I kept like I went higher student. I graduated as older student. But in the back of my mind, it's just always about art. It was always about art.

This is art is a =podcast where we visualize the future of the art world. This season, we are revisiting the topics and ideas introduced in season one.

through conversations with industry leaders, emerging artists and creative change makers.

today. We're hearing from Eli Lackla an artist based in Turkey.

Eli share stories with us on creative confidence, personal reflection. And the importance of not comparing your work or yourself to others. she explains the circumstances that led her to initially pursue economics. And then how she changed her life, left the corporate world. to pursue her true calling as a professional artist.

Eli shares, how she uses Instagram as a tool for positivity, connecting with other artists and building a professional network

from her passion for art history and recent experience working with interior designers Eli's perspective is insightful and her energy is restorative. I hope you find this conversation as enjoyable and enriching as

I'm an artist from Turkey. I mostly do abstract paintings. I don't really have a, arts, you know, educational background. I think I can say I'm a self-taught artists, but I always had a passion for arts for painting since I was a child. I am an economics graduate.

[00:02:26] Ilay: I work for, corporate companies and, government institution. But then I realized you weren't satisfying enough. So I decided to take my passion to a business. I take the risk and know I am a full-time artist trying to make it.

[00:02:43] Isotta: Well, I'd love to hear a little bit more about that story. So you said you were an economics graduate and then you entered the corporate world what was that like?

[00:02:52] Ilay: I mean,It happened very naturally because I got an amazing offer just after two months I graduated. I jumped to it because, you know, it's not easy to find a good job. Like it doesn't really matter where you're from anymore. And all of the, you know, new grads are looking for good jobs and I got a really, really good offer.

[00:03:12] Ilay: So I jumped into it and I was very busy. I was working seven days a week. I was always at my laptop and it was just so, so tiring and I sometimes forgot what date was.

[00:03:24] Ilay: It was all business. And then I had to change my seat because I got married. And then I thought, you know, I can't do this anymore.

[00:03:32] Ilay: I did it for like a year, but it's just too tiring. I feel so old inside. So I was like, you know, I got home. Institution will be better because it's, you know, it's saying all around the world, it's much more calm and not a lot of work to do. Just, you know, in the private sector, I worked there for like three years as well.

[00:03:56] Ilay: Um, but it was just, it was just not satisfying, you know, I wasn't happy. And I thought if I'm not happy daily, like what's the point.

And I didn't even ask for anyone like my mom or dad or my husband. I was just like, okay, I'm quitting.

[00:04:14] Ilay: And I wrote my resignation letter in 10 minutes and I just gave in, I just left there. I had enough.

[00:04:21] Ilay: because when you're not happy and

[00:04:23] Ilay: We don't want to go to that work, like when you're like physically annoyed, you can feel like the physical impatient, you just don't want to stare at that table and do that work because it doesn't give you anything. It doesn't fulfill your soul. I always see myself as an artist.

[00:04:42] Ilay: I was painting, you know, here and there and on holidays or in the weekends, but I was always in my mind and in my heart, I was an artist. I knew it, but I wasn't confident enough to tell it to myself. Wait, you're an artist and you're wasting your life in this office. You can't do this to yourself. It's not fair.

[00:05:03] Ilay: You deserve to be happy. You should be happy. So I made the decision for myself. Yeah.

you mentioned that you've been painting your whole life since childhood, when you were growing up. Were you not encouraged to become an, artist or was it your own internal drive to go into the business space first?

[00:05:23] Ilay: Well, I, I have to be honest, I went to a really, really good school. My parents did their best to me. And my art teachers were like, you have to do this cause you're good at this. They were like, you have something, but coming from a middle class family, there are, you know, facts in life. And there are certain expectations of your family and the society.

[00:05:50] Ilay: And I think I betrayed myself by listening to what people want from me rather than what I really want. And it pushed this feelings like art art will not give me a real life. It's not a real, I mean, you can know it as well. Say it's global. I mean, it's not going to give you enough money. It's not going to.

[00:06:11] Ilay: Give you a proper life, blah, blah, blah, this and that. And I was so lost in these sentences that coming from people, I was like, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they are right. So I should follow their path. And I did for a very long time. I studied economics and economics is not just a department. You can just get into a study.

[00:06:33] Ilay: It's really hard. And I was good at it. I kept like I went higher student. I graduated as older student. I did it as well. But in the back of my mind, it's just always about art. It was always about art. I wasn't encouraged by my family. I can't fly even though they are really good parents.

[00:06:56] Ilay: They want it like a more secure life for me, you know, if you go study economics or business, and if you have like a really good job that pays well, you know, you're going to get better and better, and you're going to have a cause. That's how they grow up. No, I don't want to blame them, but. It just came down to this.

[00:07:17] Ilay: I quit it all. No diplomas, normal thing. I'm self-taught and I'm just very, very happy. I've never been more happier. I feel true to myself. I feel happy and peaceful inside, and I'm happy on a daily basis, which is really hard to obtain this day. And I think I'd like to thank myself for doing the right thing.

[00:07:44] Isotta: So along the journey you know, was there any fear there, or was there any insecurity or did you know that, finally you were listening to the internal voice that was telling you what to do.I quit and I. I knew I needed to spend time with my self and my own thoughts rather than asking people, how should I get into this business? Like, what should I do? Or what should I draw? Because I already had a style in my head. I already know the colors that I, like. I already know what looks on a canvas.

[00:08:21] Ilay: So I was like, okay, I have to start. I have to start doing it. It can't be scared. I can let my hands shake. I just pick the colors. I like. And I took the brush and I just let it flow. It just, it was soul liberating, it was so powerful. I was like, wait, what I did is not great right now because if my first tries trying, uh, but it will get better because I know I'm at the right place.

[00:08:54] Ilay: I kept on painting, drawing. I worked on colors. I, um, restart styles. I watched a lot of stuff. I attended workshops. I did online courses. I'm very into art history. So. I started reading more and more. but at the same time, I was practically always drawing something. And if I don't like it, I was like, okay, start from the beginning. I was just like, drove it all the way and didn't feel. Um, I, I know now if I didn't tried all this stuff and did all the, you know, that seems bad to me right now, those bad paintings, I wouldn't be where I am now.

[00:09:38] Ilay: but, uh, you asked me. Well, you scared I was scared of not being taken seriously by the art community because I'm not properly educated in art in the means of university degree. in my mind and it was like, it was affecting me negatively.

[00:09:57] Ilay: So I just felt like, you know, Maybe back in the day, maybe talk to you as ago. Maybe 20 years ago, this was right. Art had like limits. Um, it was more strict, but now the time has changed. It's your head together? You're confident, you know what you're doing? Stay true to your creative self. You're always learning new things.

[00:10:22] Ilay: A diploma. Doesn't define it. And if there will be people who will not take you seriously, because you don't have a university degree, but just accept, take their opinion, because say thank you for, um, you know, thoughts or whatever. And just move on that doesn't define you. That was the most scary thing for me.

some people did it to me. They were like, oh, you're not around skate. Like, do you know what you're doing? You know? And they do it on. I get it. but I feel like closer to what I achieved in a year. I think that didn't stop me and I I'm really glad that stair doesn't stop me because now I work with, you know, a couple of interior designers and coffee shops, and I know what I'm doing. So I I'm, you know, going on exhibitions and I'm getting very positive feedback from traders. So I know I don't really need a diploma at the moment because social media, the internet, the web is so strong and art has less limits. Now I can make it. That was my biggest scare, but I think I got over it now.

[00:11:34] Isotta: I'd love to hear a little bit about the work you do with interior designers. Is that a collaborative or do they commission you does that, um, relationship.

[00:11:42] Ilay: Um, actually involved, lately working on these neutral colors that's um, that one interior design, particularly she's in love with this. So she was like, okay, I want several like seven or eight of these, but now she's coming up with other projects and she's like on different colors.

[00:12:02] Ilay: Commission, you know, so it's just both ways. And, um, she introduced me to another interior designer, which is an amazing opportunity. but I also work with a cup coffee shop here as well. I did a couple of paintings for them and they also let me use, um, one of their walls for me to sell my paintings, which is very nice.

[00:12:25] Ilay: And they're not taking anything. Uh, they are, uh, just, um, three sisters as well, supporting other women like me. Um, so that's how I work. It can be collaborative. It can be commission.

I believe that now every person I meet is a new opportunity because it really is and one door opens another, another as long as you're kind*...* and just positive. So that's how it worked for me. Just one person led to another, another, another, just keep believing in yourself and just keep on painting.

as you have now started doing commercial work and, um, commissioned work.is there a difference between the paintings you do, um, like for yourself and, you know, for the development of your style versus the paintings you do for the coffee shop or for the interior designers and how do you separate those two in your mind?

to be honest, I don't, I believe it's art for art's sake. And I, I tell them before I start working, I'm like, this is what I do. This is, these are the limits. That I can go because I can pass that. Like you can ask for me to do a, I don't know, like a portrait or just flowers, because that's not what I do.

[00:13:45] Ilay: I'm, it's good. It's nice. But that isn't, you know, it's just not my thing. I'm like I did this and if you like, it let's do something together. So I don't really have a, I paid for myself and I paid for business type of. Because then it will take me back to, I feel like, you know, the old days where I try to satisfy people, I do it for myself.

[00:14:09] Ilay: I paint for myself. And if you like it, it means something to you. It gives you a positive vibe. It's really good. Let's do something together, but it's not. And you're asking me to do something that is not my style at all. I just say, I'm sorry, I can't do that for you because I would like to. Mimi, you know, that's what I started a journey in the first place.

your confidence is so inspiring. Confidence will give your music opportunities. Meeting new people will give you. A lot of opportunities and they will bring you success, being kind, being nice and staying true to your creative mind.

you know, there's reality. We need money. need a certain amount of money. But if we, you know, get out of our lane, get off of our lane for money, you might not find yourself. Or you will, yes, you might have money, but you will be unhappy. So I want to be happy. Maybe there are like 10 job offers, but you have to say no.

[00:15:21] Ilay: And what it means sometimes say no, people are impressed by that. That has a power as well. So just know what you're doing. Stay true to yourself. Just like confidence is in here. I wasn't always like this. I was very confident. I wasn't like this, but I gave myself some pep talks. I was like, you got this, you can do this.

[00:15:45] Ilay: I really did. I'm like,

[00:15:47] Ilay: and it builds up, builds up. And in time you get me become a very confident person, knowing what she does. Confidence is the key, just believe in yourself. And you know, if you'd like to draw a pencil, just keep on drawing the pencil. If you like to draw abstract abstract, if you like to draw the straight line, just do it in time.

[00:16:15] Ilay: You will learn how to edit with, to it eventually. And it will be your signature style. And some people will like it. And you will find customers. You just need to be patients. You just need to be confident and you just need to believe in yourself. You can achieve annotate.

That's awesome.

[00:16:39] Isotta: How do you see Instagram as a tool for your work moving forward? Do a lot of outreach on the platform. And, how do you recommend others? You know, engage with it and also, you know, navigate the, the issue of comparing yourself to others, I hate when people do that to themselves, you can compare yourself with anyone you're you are your own competition. You need to get that into your mind. See a lot of, different artists works on the daily and I never taught, I, I swear to you.

[00:17:14] Ilay: I never taught, oh my God, this girl was better than me. You know what I say? Oh my God, she has an amazing different style than I have. That should be your perspective. You tell there is no comparison. This is art. Art is limitless. So you shouldn't compare, you shouldn't be this harsh on yourself. I mean, as artists, we are emotional, you know what I mean? Emotional people and comparing yourself to others. it doesn't end up positive. They always say always she's better or he's better. Or. Or am I enough? It's always leads up to these negative questions that will stop you from creating. And it's not nice. It's not nice for yourself. Like, why are you so harsh on yourself? So comparison is definitely a big, no, for me, like it's red lines. Just don't do that. And I always comment on pupils work. Maybe I comment sometimes like 70 comments, maybe a day. I'm like, I love how to use this color.

[00:18:21] Ilay: That brush looks amazing. This, this color looks really good. What's this name? And that's how I meet people. And that's how I find opportunities mean. I live in target. I sold my first painting to a guy in New Mexico. I mean, it's, it's really funny to me. I don't know.

[00:18:40] Isotta: That's amazing.

[00:18:42] Ilay: yeah, it was just like a hundred dollars, but I will never spend other dollars because it means a lot to me because I can, I can't connect with a guy that is thousands of kilometers away from me. you know, there is always, there will be always someone who will find your art attractive.

[00:19:00] Ilay: So just. Compare yourself to anyone use Instagram as a positive tool. Just comment save. I always say, and then I go and I read the chapters. I read, what did the artists use? If they, you know, they write songs. If even if they did an IDM though, I love this word. Like how did you do it? what did you use? What kind of brush did you use? I'm always connecting to people. And that's how your community grows and they commit you back. And it's just a very nice feeling of artists getting to know each other just by staying at home. It's an amazing opportunity. I don't use it as a, you know, very personal or very business. It's just very in between. Sometimes I share my. Maybe once or twice a week, um, or maybe I'm drinking coffee and with a view, I just share that maybe. And it's so funny. when you start sharing this stuff, some of your followers does, Hey, you never shared your kids this week, or wait, I thought you were drinking coffee.

[00:20:04] Ilay: Like you never shared people start liking you. And that's when you start, you know, creating and building your personal brand.

If you're sincere people feel it, like, I don't know how, you know, very logical, um, explanation, but when you're sincere, when you share something like just, I share my dirty hands sometimes not fully filled with pain. Or, um, I dunno, sometimes studio is a mess. I mean, clearly I shared that, you know, you have to share everything and you have to, you have to enjoy it. if I start seeing my Instagram account like this all very business professional, you know, I can't do this, I can't do that. I have to learn it myself.

[00:20:49] Ilay: It's going to cause me stress. I'm a creative person. I don't want stress. I don't want them. I'm just, you know, If I like to light, I just took a picture and post it on my story. And people actually like it. People like when you are sincere, they don't like to see all these planned posts or stories because everyone's trying to be perfect.

[00:21:11] Ilay: They're all trying to have this perfect aesthetic and stuff. I just share what I like and people find you, they like when you're really, really sincere and that.

before you mentioned how passionate you are about art history, I am as well. I'd love to hear, some of your favorite artists or people who've inspired your work, or just inspired your outlook on being an art.

[00:21:36] Ilay: Well, I am very, very, very, obsessed with the Renaissance era, let me explain my passion. I went to Florence. I love Italy by the way. I just love every bit of Italy. I went to this museum, and there was this.

[00:21:55] Ilay: An original painting And I cried in front of him

[00:22:01] Ilay: staring at me and this Japanese girl, who was, she was next to me. She got teary eyes and my husband was laughing at me. He doesn't understand my question. That's how I upset. Uh, the Renaissance artists, they are, they were the masters. They will always stay as masters. The details, the colors, the shadowing, the story.

[00:22:27] Ilay: It's like a book like you can read it every corner, every detail. I just love the Renaissance era. And, I mean, clearly I'm very, very, very much, inspired and affected by the, you know, 1930s, New York school group, um, Pollock and Lee Krasner and mark Ratko. They were leaders as well. They did something that many artists couldn't take the risk.

[00:22:54] Ilay: They did something new. Like he made a couple of lines and you know, it was his. what he did is just, I think it's perfect. And my abstract, um, obsession really began with, uh, learning more about Pollock and his partner, Lee Krasner. I love that woman and that, that New York school group, the rest, it was just very, Inspirational for me learning about their lives and their styles.

[00:23:28] Ilay: So I can say that. Yeah, the, all of the artists that w everyone in the Renaissance era Rembrandt and the New York school, they're, they're like the main inspirations for me.

So many, artists earlier in their careers, struggle with pricing their work and understanding how to, ensure that it's a fair price for them and the work and the materials that they put into it.

[00:23:54] Ilay: I'm not very good at this. So I don't know if I can give any advices, but one thing I can say is just, you know, never underestimate what you do. And, sometimes you paint something and someone wants to buy it two years later and you're just like, oh, I did it two years ago. I can just give it for, you know, very low price.

don't do that. Just to remember all the effort you gave into it, all the emotions you gave into it. That's the only advice I can feel, because I'm not really good at pricing.

[00:24:25] Ilay: I like to reach people. I want my paintings to be near houses. I want my paintings to give them, you know, good wives, positive. just love, the idea of being. So at someone's home. I like that idea. Yes. Artists for art stage. Of course we're not painting. I'm not painting to satisfy people or I'm not painting what they want to see. It will be amazing if maybe years later, one of my paintings find a place in a really good museum.

[00:24:57] Ilay: That would be amazing, but it's not my first goal. I just love the idea of someone looking at my painting and thinking I'll do this would look amazing in my office or in our building or in my home or in my bedroom. I just love when people say that and when they're eager to buy it, I just love that feeling.

it's incredibly inspiring to hear all about. approaches you have to your art practice and to your art business. so I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me today.

[00:25:31] Ilay: Well, I, I love every second of it. thank you for having me.

Thank you for listening to art is season two, episode four. The mission of art is, has been to encourage Early career creatives, art students, and emerging artists. To seek out possible futures for the art world. One where our creative ambitions and professional needs are met.

Part of this is recognizing the power that our stories have And celebrating them by building a compassionate community,

Which collectively values the creative success, But also the lessons learned from the difficult setbacks.

I would like to thank Eli

For her openness and authenticity. Her energy and creative confidence is inspiring and enriching. This was the first in a series of conversations with artists on everything from their professional journey to the artistic influences.

If you have a story that you'd like to share on the podcast, please email. listen@artispodcast.com. I look forward to these conversations and sharing the next episode in the series with you. So remember to subscribe to art is, and when you have a moment, please leave a rating and review it helps others find the podcast.

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